It’s never too late.
We want you to know that.
Sometimes parents of teens think the situation is too far gone. Their relationship is too damaged, or their teen is too angry with them for anything to change.
Here’s an important truth: You are the only one who can turn this family situation around. Your teen isn’t going to do it—and it isn’t their responsibility to do so—it’s yours!
Still, it can be tough to know where to start. At House of Hope, we encourage parents and teens to spend quality time together. In doing so, past hurts can heal and broken relationships will start to mend.
To get you started, here are 10 ways to renew your teen’s mind and see the restored family relationship you’ve longed to enjoy.
1. Eat Dinner Together
Research shows that families who sit down to dinner 3-5 times per week have children who get better grades, have higher self-esteem, and are less likely to use drugs, alcohol, smoke, or be sexually active. Teens who eat with their families also have lower rates of depression and suicide.
2. Spend Time as a Family
Time spent together builds a sense of family unity—a bond critical to your teen’s confidence. During the teen years, kids crave a sense of belonging. When you spend time together as a family unit—playing a board game or pickleball (the new teen fad!), going on vacation, heading to a waterpark, or having a family movie night—you invest in your teen and help renew their mind.
3. Turn off the TV or Watch Together
When you’re watching TV, you send a message that you are unavailable. So turn off the TV and make yourself available to talk or hang out. Or try watching what your teen likes together. Every chance to be together is a chance to renew your teen’s mind.
4. Attend Church Together
Families who attend church together create a close bond and establish unity around shared faith. If you haven’t already, make weekly church attendance a family affair.
But don’t go for the iron-fisted approach on this one. Forced church attendance will not foster good feelings in your teen’s heart toward this vital practice. Keep inviting them, though. And make it fun by going out to lunch after sometimes. Someday, they may take you up on it.
5. Read Scripture and Talk About It
The Bible tells us the way to renew the mind is through the Word of God. It may not seem like it at first glance, but there is so much power in the Bible. Just reading it—even small bits at a time—can begin to change a person’s thinking for the better completely.
And a change in thinking changes a person’s entire outlook on life!
So take the chance to read a few verses to your teen daily and talk about it. Even with limited participation, you can be sure that those seeds WILL produce!
6. Get Your Teen Involved in a Youth Group
When teens spend time around young people living a life of joy, peace, and love, they’ll start to want the same! Good company makes all the difference. And sometimes, teens need to hear truth, guidance, and encouragement from someone other than Mom and Dad.
7. Parents Get Involved in a Small Group
What does this have to do with your teen’s mind? Well…everything.
Research has found that your influence on your teen’s life is profound—three times more impactful than anyone else. So to renew your teen’s mind, renew yours first. You do this by reading the Bible, attending church, and getting involved in a small group with other parents. You need encouragement, too. And with a full tank of gas in your own spirit, you’ll be ready to build up your teen.
8. Talk About What You’re Learning in Church
After church, talk about it! Ask, What did you get out of that? Then share your own thoughts. Get the conversation going. Even if there isn’t much of a response on the other end, you’re training your teen to think and process what they’re learning, which is an essential way for teens to renew their minds.
9. Encourage Quiet Times
Time spent with God in the morning or at night is essential to your teen renewing their mind. It’s in those moments of reading a short devotional (find one geared toward teens), reading a few lines of scripture, and praying, that your teen will begin to be transformed.
And be sure you aren’t directing your teen to do something you aren’t doing yourself! Model this critical practice by engaging in a daily quiet time yourself and encourage quiet times for the whole family.
10. Journal
Journaling is an excellent way for teens to work through their thoughts and feelings. A lot is going on during these formative years, and having a personal, safe space to share their thoughts on paper can provide therapeutic relief from stress and fear. Take the time to buy a beautiful, sparkly journal for your daughter or a manly leather journal for your son. Let them know their thoughts and feelings are valuable and encourage them to journal.
These are just 10 ways to renew your teen’s mind, but they hold great power! Don’t feel pressured to put them all into practice at once. Take it one at a time. Work your way through the list in any order that makes the most sense for your family.
For more tips like these, check out Sara Trollinger’s book, Teens & Families in Crisis: 5 Keys to Heal.
