Dear Mom of Teens,
Much has happened since the day you first brought your little one home from the hospital. What once seemed so overwhelming—nighttime feedings, endless diaper changes, teething and all the unknown—may now seem like child’s play in the face of raising a teen. Once referred to as ‘Mommy’ in a high-pitched voice, you’re now ‘Mom’ and not always in the sweetest tone.
With a new set of challenges before you, things are different. You knew “everything” when they were young; now, you seem to know nothing at all. Sometimes you’re in good graces; sometimes you aren’t and for no reason at all.
And you wonder.
You wonder if you did everything right. You worry that you helped them too much or too little, punished them too often or not enough, or missed warning signs of something more serious than you know.
You look at all the years you invested in diaper changes, school drop-offs and pick-ups, packing lunches, and driving them to every extracurricular activity on the planet, and you wonder if it meant anything to them, if they’ll remember those days as fondly as you do.
Every piece of seemingly unwanted advice you’ve given, every night you’ve waited up for your teen to come home, every prayer you’ve prayed—you were loved.
Mom, you are doing a great job.
You may not always hear those words, but they’re true. Your efforts may not always be acknowledged, but they are remembered. And above all, God sees everything and He is there to encourage and support you every step of the way.
Parenting teens isn’t easy. That’s a fact!
But there is a reward for your diligence on the other side.
When you debated with your teen about coming out of their room because they’ve been in there all day, you’ve also sent a message that they are important enough to pursue.
When you’ve taken away the cell phone after your teen talked back to you, you’ve set good boundaries and enforced respect.
When you refused to allow your teen to go somewhere you didn’t feel good about or to stay out past curfew, you told them they matter enough for you to intervene.
When you encouraged your teen to eat healthier (or eat at all!) in spite of the responding eye rolls, you taught them that caring for your body is important.
When you’ve wondered quietly, “Didn’t I teach him better than that?” you revealed an opportunity to pray.
No matter what it looks like or what your teen says, you are impacting this young life. You are teaching life lessons that will never be forgotten. You are instilling values and building a lifelong relationship. It can be hard at times—all those who have raised teens before you know this to be true!
But let’s not forget about those moments that make parenting teens all worth it:
- Those snuggles as babies were precious, but there is nothing quite like a long hug from your teen.
- Those times they come out of their room and flop on the bed wanting to talk (even if it is at 10pm!)
- When they ask for your advice out of the blue.
- When they say, “I love you,” for no reason at all.
- When your teen calls you to share some news.
Dear Mom, you’re doing a great job. The hard work and love you’ve poured into your child, who is now a teen, are never wasted. You may never hear the words, but your teen needs you and loves you so much. They want you to keep pursuing them, be their friend, set boundaries and rules, and keep caring, even when they resist you.
Never give up, Mom. Keep loving, keep praying, keep watching and keep talking to your teen. Your job is so important. God will give you the grace and wisdom you need to maintain your peace and joy and make the best decisions for your teen.
