Most people think gratitude is simply appreciating what you have.
And it is. But only partly.
Gratitude is more than just being thankful. And until you get it—really get it—you may find yourself stuck on the merry-go-round of life’s circumstances that never seem to change.
This year has brought dark moments and emotional ups and downs to so many across the nation. Now more than ever, we need to learn to lean into the healing power of a spirit of gratitude.
As Thanksgiving draws near, let’s focus on a thankfulness that goes deeper than praying over a big meal. Let’s lean into the secret to spiritual success that God wants each of us to enjoy and embrace the practice of gratitude.
What Gratitude Doesn’t Look Like
1. Complaining
It’s easy, isn’t it?
Falling into a routine of complaining about everything – the weather, the drivers on the road, your aches and pains, a rude neighbor. But when you allow yourself this “luxury,” you’re doing more damage than you know.
Gratitude and complaining cannot live in the same heart. It’s been said that your level of gratitude will determine your altitude. When we complain, we magnify the problem instead of magnifying God. That’s why Philippians 2:14 reminds us to “Do everything without grumbling or arguing.” Complaining closes the door to joy and opens the door to discouragement.
Next time you’re tempted to complain, don’t! Turn the tide of your tongue to change the course of your life.
2. Criticizing
The words we speak set the course of our lives. A critical spirit breeds negativity and destroys hope.
Most people who criticize others do so because they feel badly about themselves or they are caught up in fear.
Don’t be the kind of person who tears others down. It is not only unkind to them but to those around you who have to listen to it. Even worse, you chip away at your emotional and physical health, as studies have shown.
Ephesians 4:29 tells us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”
3. Self-Pity
When times are tough or something bad happens, it’s easy to feel justified in diving deep into self-pity.
Here’s why that can be so dangerous.
Self-pity is the opposite of faith. And it puts all the focus on ourselves, which is the definition of self-centeredness.
When we fall into pity, we focus on what we lack instead of trusting God as our source. Psalm 42:5 asks, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God.”
Gratitude pulls us out of pity by shifting our gaze back to God’s promises.
One sure cure for self-pity is serving others. If you’ve caught yourself falling into this trap, get out there and find a place to serve! It will lift your spirits and help others at the same time!
What Gratitude Does Look Like
1. Focusing on Blessings
Have you been complaining about your house, your family, your job, your clothes?
It’s time to stop and think. Could it be worse? Is it even really that bad? Would others love to have what you have?
Gratitude sees God’s hand at work even in small details.
A wonderful practice recommended by ministers and doctors is this: Terri Savelle Foy encourages believers to write down 10 things you’re thankful for. It will begin to rewire your mind toward hope and expectation.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Focusing on blessings invites God’s presence and peace.
2. Positive Thoughts That Outweigh Negative
Whatever you think on the most is what you’ll become.
If your thoughts are primarily negative, you will become a grumbling, complaining, negative and unpleasant person to be around. That isn’t the real you!
Choosing to think on what is good and praiseworthy aligns us with Philippians 4:8: “Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Gratitude shifts the balance so that the positive outweighs the negative in our hearts and minds. But you have to be intentional!
Gratitude is a Spiritual Force
Gratitude isn’t just about good manners or polite prayers. It is a spiritual force that changes our perspective and positions us for God’s blessings. When we thank God in advance for His goodness, even before we see it, we demonstrate trust in His promises.
Gratitude opens the door for breakthroughs.
At House of Hope, we walk with families and teens through difficult seasons. We’ve seen how easy it is to fall into complaining, criticism, or self-pity when life feels overwhelming. But we’ve also seen the transformation that comes when hearts turn toward gratitude—healing deepens, relationships grow stronger, and hope shines brighter.
How to Cultivate Lasting Gratitude
Gratitude is more than a holiday practice—it’s a lifestyle. If you’re ready to embrace a lifestyle of gratitude that goes beyond the holiday season, here are some steps you can take today:
1. Start a Gratitude Journal
Write down 10 things you’re thankful for every day. Over time, you’ll begin to notice God’s blessings more quickly.
2. Turn Complaints into Praise
Each time you feel tempted to complain, stop and thank God for something instead. Invite someone to hold you accountable in this area and then don’t get mad when they do! This one simple habit shifts your atmosphere and keeps your spirit aligned with faith.
3. Speak Life Daily
Our words carry power. Begin speaking out loud what you’re thankful for. When your family hears gratitude coming from your lips, it will shape their hearts too.
4. Practice Generosity
Gratitude naturally overflows into giving. Find small ways to bless others—a note, a smile, a meal, a prayer. Gratitude grows when it’s expressed outwardly.
5. Make Thanksgiving a Lifestyle, Not a Holiday
1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us, “Give thanks in all circumstances.” Decide today that gratitude won’t be reserved for November—it will be your daily response to God’s goodness.
When we take these steps, gratitude becomes more than a feeling. It becomes a way of living that draws us closer to God, strengthens our faith, and fills our homes with hope.
So this Thanksgiving, let’s practice gratitude that goes beyond words. Let’s choose to magnify God over problems, celebrate blessings, and align our hearts with His design. Gratitude doesn’t just change how we feel—it changes how we live.
